Made to be a Mom

She was "made to be a Mom." That's how my friend Linda said it when she wrote to me last night to tell me that our friend had passed away suddenly from the flu virus that simply took over her organs and then took her life. I cannot express the shock I am in and how greatly this news has affected me. It hits so close to home.

Shelley, and her husband Scott, were friends whom David and I first met through our small Bible study group at church when we lived in Colorado. And after I gave birth to my firstborn, Haleah, I got to know Shelley even better at the MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) group I attended. She was part of the Steering Committee for that Chapter and had three small boys. Shelley was always smiling and made her mothering "job" look effortless. I also played volleyball with Shelley and Scott in the recreation league as well, from time to time. Shelley was vibrant, did not have a "bad bone" in her body and put her everything into her family. She cared for her father-in-law when he was ill for quite some time too, as a true act of selfless love.

She was a Christian woman who always seemed to put her faith into action with the way she made others feel comfortable and important in every encounter they had with her. Her attitude was never judgmental, but always loving. She was capable and sweet and lived with joy in her life. And when we moved away from Colorado to Alabama, Shelley still kept in touch. We were overjoyed to learn that she had a baby girl to add to her "brood" of boys. That little baby girl was such a blessed addition to her family.

So this news of Shelley's death is something I cannot even begin to wrap my head around. I am devastated with grief for her family. I cannot understand how someone so healthy could contract an illness and simply pass on so quickly. It is a tragic situation. It tears me apart to think that Shelley's joy was raising her children with full intent that she was going to watch them grow. Now they are left, not just without a mother, but left without an amazingly gifted, nurturing and loving mother. My heart breaks for Scott who's burden is now so heavy. He has a long road ahead of him. He needs strength and prayer to make it through these next dark days. I wish there was something I could do. I could hardly sleep last night thinking of this family. And every time I see Shelley's face in my mind, I cannot stop crying for her, for her husband and her children.

I fully understand that our (my) days on this Earth are numbered and that we are not promised even one more day. I just hope and pray that God will grant me the privilege to raise my children into adulthood. And if not, that He will watch over their every step as they grow and know how much I love them, without any doubt in their minds. I pray now that Shelley's touch that she has enveloped her children with, will stay with them and leave a permanent impact on the adults that they will become. I pray that their bond as a family will grow and strengthen, somehow, in these next few days, months and years.

I am going to commit to pray for Scott too, that he will find the direction, strength and faith he needs to pull through and be the father these children are going to need, and for comfort for his own heart. And I'm absolutely bulled over with a fresh perspective on my own parenting. I have no right to take for granted one single day that I have with my children. I need to show them and tell them every day that I love them. I cannot control the time I have with them, but I can appreciate the quality and the importance of the space in time that I have been blessed by our heavenly Father to share with them.

God bless you, sweet Shelley. It hurts my heart more than you know to see you go. You were a blessing to more lives in subtle (yet big) ways than can ever be known.