I'm not sure I can write anything well enough to do the memory of him justice. I will just say that I loved him dearly, and he was a matchless, one-of-a-kind father to me. He was my step-father, Bob, and he passed away of ALS (Lou-Gehrigs disease) 15 years ago today.
It hardly seems that all this time has passed and it pains me a little to consider how much he's missed. I remember saying goodbye to him in the hospital after a failed attempt to insert a feeding tube into his stomach. His body was too tired to handle another procedure. I was 18 and I walked into his room where he lay alert, but unable to speak. I held his hand and whispered that I wanted him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I told him I loved him. Our whole family was gathered there, and we sang a couple of Bob's favorite hymns and said our goodbyes, as tears fell down our faces, and his. I left the room, knowing it would be the last time I'd see him. Soon my Mom was there alone with Bob, there to hold his hand as the angels escorted him off to heaven.
Bob came into my life as I approached my teen years. I was the only girl in the family, and even though Bob only had boys, he knew how to spoil a girl like me. When he brought flowers home for my mother, he brought me some too. He was in tune with how to make all of his children feel special and loved. He provided for us and cooked wonderful meals, showing off his passion and love for food. He could sing his heart out and had an incredible musical gift. Bob was nurturing and honest and good. He was a model to me, in the way he treated my mother, and showed what a husband should be for a wife. I watched him closely. I knew Bob was proud of me, no matter what I did. He was patient in my teen years, even though we all know that period can be rough on entire families (and our family had four teenagers at that one time). Bob was fair, yet strict, but I respected him fully. When the disease started to take it's toll on his body, I sensed the pain in him, but I knew he trusted that God was going to hold him close. It was that faith that gave Bob comfort and peace and allowed us to endure it with him as well.
It was hard to see Bob suffer over a period of time. And it was even harder to let him go. Our family had so many plans for the future and a long life together. My Mom and Bob only had a few short years together, but their love was of the truest form. Bob never got to meet his grandchildren, but I know he'd be proud. I am thinking of Bob tonight, thankful for his life and the impact it made on me. The fairy tale love that he and my Mom had wasn't the happiest of endings when they had to let each other go, but it was magical while it lasted. And for that I'm glad Bob's story unfolded and that he was a part of my life.
4 comments:
You made me cry reading this Lara - I'm sitting here at work and people are probably wondering why Tom is in his office crying. All of your words ring so true...I couldn't have said it better myself. Bob will be sorely missed but his lessons and his love will remain with us forever.
Thank you for sharing this, Lara. Bob was a very gifted man and touched the lives of thousands of people as he served the Lord. I'll never forget the year he directed the Messiah as my grandmother and sister played the violin, with my mother in the choir. Maybe I'm just being nostalgic, but I don't think the production has been the same since he passed.
Lara-Bob had a huge impact on me as well during my time at ENC. He was such a faithful and loving man to all he came into contact with. It was a blessing to have him in my life-thanks for sharing.
I appreciate your writing this so much, Lara. I'm so thankful for Bob and our combined family and the time we all had together.
I love it when someone (you!) remembers how truly loving he was. I had never met someone like him, and I was so thankful to be his wife. He exuded warmth; it was the first thing one noticed. And his warmth and his kindness went hand-in-hand.
We thought we had a special love. I'm glad you thought so, too.
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