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My mother has been in town for the last couple of weeks, and it's been such a delight. I only get to see her about twice a year, so our time together is precious. Though my children are experts at distraction it was still nice to just have my Mom here.
The kids found it funny to put the Barrel of Monkeys on Grandma's glasses...
Grandma and her three grand-daughters were able to get reconnect again and talked about our upcoming summer vacation plans to Maine, when we see Grandma again. They are already so excited to go to the beach and go camping.
One of these days when my Mom comes I'm sure we'll get to do more "fun" stuff. I'm at the stage now, however, where I'm just so grateful to have a bit of time to accomplish some projects that I haven't been able to get to with the children demanding my attention so much (which is expected for a 3, 2 and 10 month old). My Mom was funny though... I mentioned to her that I was reading the popular Twilight series and was on book #3. I thought that perhaps she might pick up book #1 and read through that one book while she was here. Well, I made it to the 4th book this week, but she surpassed me and had to "take over" my book to finish up the series before her flight takes off today. I guess she likes it! Ha. And I am looking forward to getting book #4 back!
So we'll all be taking her to the airport soon and are sad to see her go. My Mom is my closest friend and I don't know how I get along without her every day.
I'm not sure I can write anything well enough to do the memory of him justice. I will just say that I loved him dearly, and he was a matchless, one-of-a-kind father to me. He was my step-father, Bob, and he passed away of ALS (Lou-Gehrigs disease) 15 years ago today.
It hardly seems that all this time has passed and it pains me a little to consider how much he's missed. I remember saying goodbye to him in the hospital after a failed attempt to insert a feeding tube into his stomach. His body was too tired to handle another procedure. I was 18 and I walked into his room where he lay alert, but unable to speak. I held his hand and whispered that I wanted him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I told him I loved him. Our whole family was gathered there, and we sang a couple of Bob's favorite hymns and said our goodbyes, as tears fell down our faces, and his. I left the room, knowing it would be the last time I'd see him. Soon my Mom was there alone with Bob, there to hold his hand as the angels escorted him off to heaven.
Bob came into my life as I approached my teen years. I was the only girl in the family, and even though Bob only had boys, he knew how to spoil a girl like me. When he brought flowers home for my mother, he brought me some too. He was in tune with how to make all of his children feel special and loved. He provided for us and cooked wonderful meals, showing off his passion and love for food. He could sing his heart out and had an incredible musical gift. Bob was nurturing and honest and good. He was a model to me, in the way he treated my mother, and showed what a husband should be for a wife. I watched him closely. I knew Bob was proud of me, no matter what I did. He was patient in my teen years, even though we all know that period can be rough on entire families (and our family had four teenagers at that one time). Bob was fair, yet strict, but I respected him fully. When the disease started to take it's toll on his body, I sensed the pain in him, but I knew he trusted that God was going to hold him close. It was that faith that gave Bob comfort and peace and allowed us to endure it with him as well.
It was hard to see Bob suffer over a period of time. And it was even harder to let him go. Our family had so many plans for the future and a long life together. My Mom and Bob only had a few short years together, but their love was of the truest form. Bob never got to meet his grandchildren, but I know he'd be proud. I am thinking of Bob tonight, thankful for his life and the impact it made on me. The fairy tale love that he and my Mom had wasn't the happiest of endings when they had to let each other go, but it was magical while it lasted. And for that I'm glad Bob's story unfolded and that he was a part of my life.
As Bekah nears closer to the first year mark, I can almost feel myself coming out of the fog I must have been in for the past couple of years. My goal has been to nurse Bekah until her first Birthday, which is in April, so the end is in sight. For the past 5 years, I have either been nursing and/or pregnant, and soon I will be altogether neither! This is not to say I haven't enjoyed the stages my babies are/were in or the processes I've gone through, but I am ready to have my body back (completely) so that I can feel stronger and focus on more things. I am beginning to feel the need to meet new people and become more active outside my home. I am making plans to enjoy some time to myself or to have a date with my husband. I have lost most of my "baby weight," but am looking foward trying to get my body "fit" again. And I have begun to set up playdates as well, with other moms and kids.
I enjoy this age that Bekah is (nearly 10 months), because I feel that I am able to maneuver a bit easier throughout the day. I am beginning to enjoy these times even more now. And when I'm not focused on myself, my eyes seem to be open to the needs of those around me. Recently I have had some neat opportunities to have conversations with new people or discover small ways that I can reach out to another. And this brings me great joy and purpose. I still struggle with the fact that I don't know what I'll do with myself when all three of my babies start school. I want to feel like I have a plan. But for now I'll just imagine that I have limitless OPPORTUNITY!
The kids found it funny to put the Barrel of Monkeys on Grandma's glasses...
