Made to be a Mom

She was "made to be a Mom." That's how my friend Linda said it when she wrote to me last night to tell me that our friend had passed away suddenly from the flu virus that simply took over her organs and then took her life. I cannot express the shock I am in and how greatly this news has affected me. It hits so close to home.

Shelley, and her husband Scott, were friends whom David and I first met through our small Bible study group at church when we lived in Colorado. And after I gave birth to my firstborn, Haleah, I got to know Shelley even better at the MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) group I attended. She was part of the Steering Committee for that Chapter and had three small boys. Shelley was always smiling and made her mothering "job" look effortless. I also played volleyball with Shelley and Scott in the recreation league as well, from time to time. Shelley was vibrant, did not have a "bad bone" in her body and put her everything into her family. She cared for her father-in-law when he was ill for quite some time too, as a true act of selfless love.

She was a Christian woman who always seemed to put her faith into action with the way she made others feel comfortable and important in every encounter they had with her. Her attitude was never judgmental, but always loving. She was capable and sweet and lived with joy in her life. And when we moved away from Colorado to Alabama, Shelley still kept in touch. We were overjoyed to learn that she had a baby girl to add to her "brood" of boys. That little baby girl was such a blessed addition to her family.

So this news of Shelley's death is something I cannot even begin to wrap my head around. I am devastated with grief for her family. I cannot understand how someone so healthy could contract an illness and simply pass on so quickly. It is a tragic situation. It tears me apart to think that Shelley's joy was raising her children with full intent that she was going to watch them grow. Now they are left, not just without a mother, but left without an amazingly gifted, nurturing and loving mother. My heart breaks for Scott who's burden is now so heavy. He has a long road ahead of him. He needs strength and prayer to make it through these next dark days. I wish there was something I could do. I could hardly sleep last night thinking of this family. And every time I see Shelley's face in my mind, I cannot stop crying for her, for her husband and her children.

I fully understand that our (my) days on this Earth are numbered and that we are not promised even one more day. I just hope and pray that God will grant me the privilege to raise my children into adulthood. And if not, that He will watch over their every step as they grow and know how much I love them, without any doubt in their minds. I pray now that Shelley's touch that she has enveloped her children with, will stay with them and leave a permanent impact on the adults that they will become. I pray that their bond as a family will grow and strengthen, somehow, in these next few days, months and years.

I am going to commit to pray for Scott too, that he will find the direction, strength and faith he needs to pull through and be the father these children are going to need, and for comfort for his own heart. And I'm absolutely bulled over with a fresh perspective on my own parenting. I have no right to take for granted one single day that I have with my children. I need to show them and tell them every day that I love them. I cannot control the time I have with them, but I can appreciate the quality and the importance of the space in time that I have been blessed by our heavenly Father to share with them.

God bless you, sweet Shelley. It hurts my heart more than you know to see you go. You were a blessing to more lives in subtle (yet big) ways than can ever be known.

Big Kid 101

Big day today... I saw a sale going on at Kmart for sheet sets, so I decided this was the day that Haleah and Kaelah would get "bed upgrades." I started off the morning on a positive note, as I snagged an unheard of 8.5 hours of sleep, since Bekah slept through the night. Her four front teeth are in now, so perhaps we all get some relief!

We headed to Kmart and happened to find the two coveted Disney characters (of the moment) for my kids---Ariel (for Haleah) and Tinkerbell (for Kaelah). The sheet sets were on sale, but the character pillows were not. So I gave David a "puppy dog" face and said, "Look how cuuuuute," and then he agreed to buy them too. I got lucky.

After our run about in Kmart, we decided to let the kids play at a nearby park since it was a record-breakingly warm day. It was perfectly sunny and breezy and totally enjoyable. The kids got to play at a playground then huck some big rocks into a swamp. Their day was complete after that!

But it didn't end there. We ventured to McDonald's together for an impromptu family lunch. While there, we saw the LeMay's, a sweet older couple whom we purchased our minivan from over a year ago. They still remembered us and hoped that we were still enjoying our vehicle. We didn't tell them that water now pours through the vents in the car when it rains, or that the passenger side window no longer opens, or that the radio mechanisms are jacked. I'm sure all of this must have something to do with the fact that three babies right this car on a regular basis...

This afternoon, after David went to work, the girls and I picked up my niece Gracyn and came home to organize the new bedding. I moved Haleah's tiny toddler bed into Bekah's room (for a day down the road that she would use it), and gave Haleah a full box spring and mattress set. I am worried that she might fall off?? But I think she can manage it, and we are going to give it a try. She loves her new Ariel set up. Kaelah is coming out of her crib and down to one floor mattress for now, to get her acclimated. She seemed more than willing to make this transition tonight in her Tinkerbell bed. And I had a conversation with her to "stay in her bed" if she wakes up. I told her to still call for us if she needs us. I hope that little head of hers was paying attention. We shall see!

After the beds were assembled, we took off to my other niece, Cora's soccer game. Cora played goalie for the 1st half and was like a brick wall. She didn't let anything pass her by. She did great! And she played defense during second half and was a force to be reckoned with.

My girls were moderately behaved. I had to take Haleah to a disgusting outhouse of a bathroom two times during the course of the game. It was a really sketchy place located behind the bleachers--the kind of bathroom I have nightmares about. Then, when the game ended, and we ventured back to the parking lot with all our stuff, Haleah told me she had to go potty again. I was like, "WHAT? You just went! Twice! And I'm NOT bringing you back to that disgusting bathroom again!"

But Haleah insisted that she had to go. So in the parking lot, I tried to shield her with the stroller and my body while my mother-in-law helped her squat down. And Haleah didn't go. So we all got buckled up and into the car. And as I was backing out of the parking space, Haleah declared, "I said I DIDN'T have to go!" I was thinking she was out of her mind. Haleah put up quite a production to tell me she did have to go and couldn't wait until we got home. So we tried to make a way for her, only for her to tell us moments after that charade that she never had to go. Ugh!

Anyhow, we really did have a good day. We came home and got some cereal (cause we kind of missed dinner due to the soccer game), and I put the girls to bed in their "new digs." I hope they sleep tight, but I'll be listening closely in the monitors tonight.

100th Post

I've been delaying doing this 100th post, due to the expectation that I should do something extra special or make a list (for example) of 100 things I love, which takes an awful long time and creative effort to produce. But since I have been sleep deprived for the past two weeks due to children with high fevers, runny noses and teething, I simply do not have the stamina (or mommy brain power) to produce such a list. I just want to blog in a more realistic manner at this point...

I will say, however, that I am 100% blessed and in love with my girls and my husband. I have 100's of things to be happy about and thankful for. I love the way David is such a fun Daddy with his three daughters--bringing out "the tickle spider" on them and throwing them over his shoulders singing a made-up song he calls "Sack of Potatoes." And I love the way David holds me at night, encourages me, tells me I'm smart and provides for our family.

I love that Haleah is starting to understand jokes and is becoming quite an interesting story teller. She asks so many questions during the day and is a literal sponge. She keeps asking me 100 times a day when summer is coming and why I (seem) tell her every day that it's "not here yet." Her independence is growing and she told David the other day, "Daddy, some things I just HAVE to do myself." She told me that she wants to pray to God by herself too. I say, "Great!"

I am 100% in love with Kaelah's sweet and giving heart. She is a 2-year old with a tremendous sense of compassion. She is always noticing when others are hurt or need help and comes to aid. She never wants to insult or harm. When I told Kaelah that I was so tired that I could fall apart, she said, "Oh, are you okay Mommy? I will keep you safe." And then she gave me a big kiss. She is precious beyond belief, even though she is testing her limits every day and using her table settings as science lab experiments.

And Bekah, is my 1-in-100 (I say 1-in-1,000,000,000) baby... She is my delight. Even though she is my baby who has given me the hardest time with sleep issues, I cannot get past the love that I have for her. Every morning, when I pick her up out of her crib, she hugs me around my neck and gives me the biggest smile (without any inkling of what a terror she was the night before). She seems to be crawling 100 miles an hour, eats about 100 foreign objects per day, but then gives me at least 100 kisses a day. So it all balances out. I couldn't stay mad at that precious, sweet baby. I know, as a 10 month old, that she won't be a baby much longer. So I am taking in every moment and trying to enjoy it all.

So this 100th post is merely a short tribute to the 1000's of things that I love about my family. Even though I'm working on improving other aspects of my life and worry about 100 different trivial things a day---I still don't have any doubt that my children and my husband are a gift that should never be taken for granted. Here's to the next 100 posts! May sleep come my way so that I will have the ability to formulate coherent thoughts and sentences!