Matchless

I'm not sure I can write anything well enough to do the memory of him justice. I will just say that I loved him dearly, and he was a matchless, one-of-a-kind father to me. He was my step-father, Bob, and he passed away of ALS (Lou-Gehrigs disease) 15 years ago today.

It hardly seems that all this time has passed and it pains me a little to consider how much he's missed. I remember saying goodbye to him in the hospital after a failed attempt to insert a feeding tube into his stomach. His body was too tired to handle another procedure. I was 18 and I walked into his room where he lay alert, but unable to speak. I held his hand and whispered that I wanted him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I told him I loved him. Our whole family was gathered there, and we sang a couple of Bob's favorite hymns and said our goodbyes, as tears fell down our faces, and his. I left the room, knowing it would be the last time I'd see him. Soon my Mom was there alone with Bob, there to hold his hand as the angels escorted him off to heaven.

Bob came into my life as I approached my teen years. I was the only girl in the family, and even though Bob only had boys, he knew how to spoil a girl like me. When he brought flowers home for my mother, he brought me some too. He was in tune with how to make all of his children feel special and loved. He provided for us and cooked wonderful meals, showing off his passion and love for food. He could sing his heart out and had an incredible musical gift. Bob was nurturing and honest and good. He was a model to me, in the way he treated my mother, and showed what a husband should be for a wife. I watched him closely. I knew Bob was proud of me, no matter what I did. He was patient in my teen years, even though we all know that period can be rough on entire families (and our family had four teenagers at that one time). Bob was fair, yet strict, but I respected him fully. When the disease started to take it's toll on his body, I sensed the pain in him, but I knew he trusted that God was going to hold him close. It was that faith that gave Bob comfort and peace and allowed us to endure it with him as well.

It was hard to see Bob suffer over a period of time. And it was even harder to let him go. Our family had so many plans for the future and a long life together. My Mom and Bob only had a few short years together, but their love was of the truest form. Bob never got to meet his grandchildren, but I know he'd be proud. I am thinking of Bob tonight, thankful for his life and the impact it made on me. The fairy tale love that he and my Mom had wasn't the happiest of endings when they had to let each other go, but it was magical while it lasted. And for that I'm glad Bob's story unfolded and that he was a part of my life.

New Perspective

As Bekah nears closer to the first year mark, I can almost feel myself coming out of the fog I must have been in for the past couple of years. My goal has been to nurse Bekah until her first Birthday, which is in April, so the end is in sight. For the past 5 years, I have either been nursing and/or pregnant, and soon I will be altogether neither! This is not to say I haven't enjoyed the stages my babies are/were in or the processes I've gone through, but I am ready to have my body back (completely) so that I can feel stronger and focus on more things. I am beginning to feel the need to meet new people and become more active outside my home. I am making plans to enjoy some time to myself or to have a date with my husband. I have lost most of my "baby weight," but am looking foward trying to get my body "fit" again. And I have begun to set up playdates as well, with other moms and kids.

I enjoy this age that Bekah is (nearly 10 months), because I feel that I am able to maneuver a bit easier throughout the day. I am beginning to enjoy these times even more now. And when I'm not focused on myself, my eyes seem to be open to the needs of those around me. Recently I have had some neat opportunities to have conversations with new people or discover small ways that I can reach out to another. And this brings me great joy and purpose. I still struggle with the fact that I don't know what I'll do with myself when all three of my babies start school. I want to feel like I have a plan. But for now I'll just imagine that I have limitless OPPORTUNITY!

Recklessly Awaiting Mother

I'm recklessly awaiting my mother to arrive, as things seem to be falling apart here in the Whitt household. These past seven days have been a doozer! It's like my girls have gone wild. Here are some interesting things that happened:

1) Haleah "woke up" from nap screaming at the top of her lungs and was clinging to her blinds yelling, "I want Wiggles! I want Wiggles!" She was having a sleep terror or something. She was not actually awake, and it took me quite a long time to settle her down.

2) Before church on Sunday, just as we were about to leave, I found Haleah and Kaelah together in the bathroom with an empty medicine bottle in their possession. I assessed the situation. Medicine was on their clothes, but not on their faces. Purple goop was on the bathroom walls and on my fluffy white bathroom rug, but not in their mouths. Praise God! But boy did they get a mouthful from their Daddy!

3) Kaelah has taken a liking to licking the top of the pepper shaker. No, you may not want to eat over my house this week!

4) Bekah is coughing all night long and has snot dripping from her nose like a faucet. Poor thing is so sick, yet she's still eating any leaf or any other typical inedible object that she can find. She has also taken a liking to licking my front door and leaving a line of drool on it.

5) Bekah learned to open the top line of cabinet drawers in my kitchen. She is 9 months old. I don't know how she is doing this, but she's got me going crazy! Her fingers are going to be missing in no time, I fear.

6) Kaelah has been caught with the cap off the toothpaste, trying to squirt the entire thing into her mouth. She also got a hold of my Chapstick in the car. And when I looked back in my rear view mirror while driving, she had smeared it, thickly, ALL over her face. Yum!

Needless to say, this week has been all about disciplining and teaching and child-proofing. I must say, I'm worn out and waiting for my mother to show up, as promised. Let's see.... it's January 26th today. That means I only have 17 days more left to wait for her arrival. Hurry, Mom. I'm losing control!

Weekend Stuff

This weekend was my sister-in-law's birthday, so the family decided to throw her a small, yet inventive bash. We created our own pizzas with fun toppings and then dressed our own cupcakes with festive additions. It was fun!

Other than this weekend, much of this past week was spent indoors due to extreme cold weather conditions. Alabama saw the coldest day it has been in over 6 years. So, the kids and I took to making a couple of videos. The first one (below) is about a bug. The second one is about Bekah learning the formula for walking. My mom is visiting mid-February, and I guarantee Bekah will be walking by then!

Bekah is a little bugger. She thinks it's hilarious to twist around in her high chair real fast and stand up in her chair. She about gives me a heart attack every time! And it was cute the other day when Bekah stood up and tried to push her big sister Kaelah in the baby doll stroller. Too funny!

Two Sad Things

I'm completely distraught tonight over two sad pieces of news. An 18 year old neighbor was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma and a wedding was called off for a someone close to me. I heard these pieces of news within about 10 minutes of each other and I immediately felt a headache coming on and depression setting in. It makes me think of the unfairness of life, the fleetingness of it and missed opportunities. Why them? Why now? None of us really knows the map that is drawn out for us. We're not promised 1st or 2nd chances at anything. And physical and emotional pain hurt equally as much. I empathize with these hurting people and wish there was something I could do to help. I am trying to replay in my mind the verses my pastor spoke on today in Romans 5:

"1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "

I just finished reading the novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns this week too, and my review of it pertained to the admiration of two women who's hope in life superceded the extent of their great physical and emotional suffering. My heart breaks for those who's plight hits closer to home tonight, however. And I wonder if I could persevere enough to find the path to hope if my feet were in their shoes. I guess my prayer tonight will be for healing in these situations, and for wisdom to know how I can be used, if at all, to help someone in need.

Good Fortune

My kids have been funny lately. They are still carrying on with the Christmas spirit, well into January, by dressing up as Mary, mother of Jesus. They find blankets around the house and drape them over their heads and call themselves "Mary." They are so cute.

They also are getting a kick out of their dress up clothes and find fun outfits to wear. Below are some pics.

Today, David took Haleah with him to go and have the Camry fixed. It was the first time we "split" Haleah and Kaelah up. It was nice for me to have some time with Kaelah, and David enjoyed his time with his "firstborn," as he calls her. They went to the Dollar Store while waiting for our vehicle, and Haleah came home with an Arial jumprope and a Princess stool that she can stand on to brush her own teeth at the sink. She was proud.

Kaelah and I stayed home (with Bekah) and organized the spare sock drawer and cleaned up all the girls' rooms. She was my little helper. We also found a spare bin, and the thought came to me that it would serve as the perfect puzzle organizer. And so it is...

Bekah is a funny one. She likes to take off crawling, then turn around and look at me to wave, then take off crawling again. She is also learning to stand a bit. I find myself not being as nervous with her standing as I was with Kaelah. Bekah just seems so sturdy and athletic. She seems "solid" and sure. When Kaelah was learning to walk, I was on edge 24/7. That's because Kaelah, even to this day, is always tripping over things or over herself. She's just more clumsy, that silly girl.

Haleah amazes me. She reads me whole books from memory. She is 3, and can't read yet, but she can recite verbatim what several books say when opening them. I find it fascinating to listen to her, as I watch how she is learning and growing.

Some days, like today, I just look at my children and take the time to let it sink in about just how fortunate I am to have them and relish how wonderful, precious and unique each one of them is.

Wayward Blog

I begin typing, not sure where this one is going to go... Over the past couple of weeks I have felt guilty that I have not taken time to write about the growth or progress of this household. It's not to say there hasn't been any. I suppose I have been focusing my energies on other things, some important (like finances and The Budget); others selfish (like Facebook'ing or merely vegging after the kids go to bed).

Among the exciting attributes of the two weeks post Christmas holiday include:

1) A fun surprise 50th Birthday party for our beloved pastor's wife, Joni. As she was walking down to the room where her guests were hiding, I took a seat in a chair, and it creaked so loud that everyone took notice. It was funny. Joni had a nice party planned by her daughter. And Haleah learned how to play ping pong.

Joni blowing out her candles on the RIP cake

Pastor Phillip being silly with my girls with the party noise makers.

Me and girls at the party.
2) My back has decided to act up on me. I don't deal with pain too well, and I deal with it worse when it's on my back. I have had back issues for years, and the same pointed spot always gives me trouble on my left side. I have been icing and heating, heating and icing. And while I lay down to do this, I am getting serious (in my mind) about beginning to strengthen my core so that these issues don't creep up on me. I also want to resume running and break out the Total Gym that we haven't touched in this household for over 6 years. I'm determined to follow through with this this year!!! Call it a resolution, as I am completely resolved to be over this pain!

3) I have formulated a monthly meal plan for this household. I am excited about it and am in an ongoing process of creating new, easy family meals. Since we are working on our budget, meal planning seems to help me reign in costs I would otherwise incur at Walmart. My only snafu is that this past week about three of the meals turned out to be quite gross. I believe I must have obtained these "recipes" on a spoof site or something, as the meals didn't seem to evolve quite right. And I consider myself to be a decent cook, so I was quite annoyed.

4) In regards to the kids, there always seems to be something yet really absolutely nothing going on, but the usual. Kaelah is still working on potty training. Haleah learned to go to "Big Kid" class at church on her own (a milestone that will be the 1st step on the road to entering preschool in the fall). Bekah is standing on her own and is also eating every piece of paper or tidbit or crumb that she finds around the house. And she can crawl super fast. I have also been working with Bekah in regards to her nightly sleeping habits. She is now pretty much sleeping through the night. If she wakes up, I simply go in and lay her back down and tell her, "It's bedtime." I am soooo relieved (and revived!) from this progress.

Me and my wild baby (and lovable and sweetest), Bekah.

Kaelah sitting in a bucket on her couch. She's such a peanut.
That's all folks. I'll aim to write at least two more times this week too.