Delights and Frights

If it were not for this last past hour of today, then today would have been a perfectly delightful day... My family started off the day gathering on our front porch and playing in the yard. We were waiting for my niece Gracyn to come. I started digging the holes to plant my new flowers in the garden and we set up the hose to let our kids just get wet (who cares if they still had their pj's on). Gracyn came and we all played some more. I grilled hotdogs for lunch and then sent the kids to nap.

Gracyn decided she wanted to pick up and clean my house. She is such a delight! She is 8 years old and made my house sparkle (at least for a couple of hours). I feel like I owe her my life. I was too tired to clean and she just went to it. Then after the kids' nap she helped me barrel out to Walmart with them. She pushed the cart while I threw food in it. People kept stopping me and couldn't believe I had 4 girls. I told them I had 3, and wanted to claim my niece, but couldn't. I let Gracyn pick out a special treat for herself at the check out line for being such a big helper.

Kaelah was funny today too. I loved watching her reaction to the bug she saw on her booster seat she tried to swat it away.... And I loved how she was desperate to go to naughty corner again just after I sent Haleah there. Kaelah went to naughty corner and sat with her face to the wall. I told her that she didn't have to sit there and that she wasn't naughty. She made a face at me, got up and walked over to me and hit my leg. I told her that was naughty. She was trying to do something "bad" to get her sent to naughty corner. I caught on to what she was trying to do and said, "Okay, that was naughty to hit, Kaelah. Go to naughty corner!" And she went over to naughty corner and sat down with a half-hearted whimper. It was hysterical!

Haleah really wanted her Daddy to come home before she went to bed. But that didn't happen. It broke my heart. She said, "When he comes home, he will put a different shirt on." She says that because she knows that David wears a uniform shirt to work and when it's on, that means he has to go. So she knows he's going to be around for a while if he's not wearing that work shirt. It's always the first thing she asks him when he comes home--- "Daddy, will you take that shirt off?"

So the worst hour came long after Gracyn left and I was left alone to fend for myself with 3 kids. Haleah decided she wanted to hit the baby for no reason, HARD, on the head, as she walked by. She also kept bugging Kaelah to no end. She also hit me and would not listen to my requests for her to behave. I was so frustrated. She kept saying that she wanted me. But all three kids were crying for me, and what am I to do? I know each child wants my individual attention, and I just can't do it. I can't play a game properly with Haleah when I'm trying to console a fussy newborn or shooing away another clingy toddler. I feel like a bit of a failure today. I think Haleah is trying to get my attention, but she's presenting her need to me with negative behavior, which, in turn, gets discipline from me. It's seems like a neverending cycle. I don't want it to be that way. It's extra hard because when I try to hold Haleah, she pushes me away. She is not a "physical" child. She doesn't like to cuddle or be touched much. I guess we all have to keep learning and praying that we can get through this!

Hopefully tomorrow will be more of the delightful and less of the frightful...