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She was "made to be a Mom." That's how my friend Linda said it when she wrote to me last night to tell me that our friend had passed away suddenly from the flu virus that simply took over her organs and then took her life. I cannot express the shock I am in and how greatly this news has affected me. It hits so close to home.
Shelley, and her husband Scott, were friends whom David and I first met through our small Bible study group at church when we lived in Colorado. And after I gave birth to my firstborn, Haleah, I got to know Shelley even better at the MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) group I attended. She was part of the Steering Committee for that Chapter and had three small boys. Shelley was always smiling and made her mothering "job" look effortless. I also played volleyball with Shelley and Scott in the recreation league as well, from time to time. Shelley was vibrant, did not have a "bad bone" in her body and put her everything into her family. She cared for her father-in-law when he was ill for quite some time too, as a true act of selfless love.
She was a Christian woman who always seemed to put her faith into action with the way she made others feel comfortable and important in every encounter they had with her. Her attitude was never judgmental, but always loving. She was capable and sweet and lived with joy in her life. And when we moved away from Colorado to Alabama, Shelley still kept in touch. We were overjoyed to learn that she had a baby girl to add to her "brood" of boys. That little baby girl was such a blessed addition to her family.
So this news of Shelley's death is something I cannot even begin to wrap my head around. I am devastated with grief for her family. I cannot understand how someone so healthy could contract an illness and simply pass on so quickly. It is a tragic situation. It tears me apart to think that Shelley's joy was raising her children with full intent that she was going to watch them grow. Now they are left, not just without a mother, but left without an amazingly gifted, nurturing and loving mother. My heart breaks for Scott who's burden is now so heavy. He has a long road ahead of him. He needs strength and prayer to make it through these next dark days. I wish there was something I could do. I could hardly sleep last night thinking of this family. And every time I see Shelley's face in my mind, I cannot stop crying for her, for her husband and her children.
I fully understand that our (my) days on this Earth are numbered and that we are not promised even one more day. I just hope and pray that God will grant me the privilege to raise my children into adulthood. And if not, that He will watch over their every step as they grow and know how much I love them, without any doubt in their minds. I pray now that Shelley's touch that she has enveloped her children with, will stay with them and leave a permanent impact on the adults that they will become. I pray that their bond as a family will grow and strengthen, somehow, in these next few days, months and years.
I am going to commit to pray for Scott too, that he will find the direction, strength and faith he needs to pull through and be the father these children are going to need, and for comfort for his own heart. And I'm absolutely bulled over with a fresh perspective on my own parenting. I have no right to take for granted one single day that I have with my children. I need to show them and tell them every day that I love them. I cannot control the time I have with them, but I can appreciate the quality and the importance of the space in time that I have been blessed by our heavenly Father to share with them.
God bless you, sweet Shelley. It hurts my heart more than you know to see you go. You were a blessing to more lives in subtle (yet big) ways than can ever be known.
Big day today... I saw a sale going on at Kmart for sheet sets, so I decided this was the day that Haleah and Kaelah would get "bed upgrades." I started off the morning on a positive note, as I snagged an unheard of 8.5 hours of sleep, since Bekah slept through the night. Her four front teeth are in now, so perhaps we all get some relief!
We headed to Kmart and happened to find the two coveted Disney characters (of the moment) for my kids---Ariel (for Haleah) and Tinkerbell (for Kaelah). The sheet sets were on sale, but the character pillows were not. So I gave David a "puppy dog" face and said, "Look how cuuuuute," and then he agreed to buy them too. I got lucky.
After our run about in Kmart, we decided to let the kids play at a nearby park since it was a record-breakingly warm day. It was perfectly sunny and breezy and totally enjoyable. The kids got to play at a playground then huck some big rocks into a swamp. Their day was complete after that!
But it didn't end there. We ventured to McDonald's together for an impromptu family lunch. While there, we saw the LeMay's, a sweet older couple whom we purchased our minivan from over a year ago. They still remembered us and hoped that we were still enjoying our vehicle. We didn't tell them that water now pours through the vents in the car when it rains, or that the passenger side window no longer opens, or that the radio mechanisms are jacked. I'm sure all of this must have something to do with the fact that three babies right this car on a regular basis...
This afternoon, after David went to work, the girls and I picked up my niece Gracyn and came home to organize the new bedding. I moved Haleah's tiny toddler bed into Bekah's room (for a day down the road that she would use it), and gave Haleah a full box spring and mattress set. I am worried that she might fall off?? But I think she can manage it, and we are going to give it a try. She loves her new Ariel set up. Kaelah is coming out of her crib and down to one floor mattress for now, to get her acclimated. She seemed more than willing to make this transition tonight in her Tinkerbell bed. And I had a conversation with her to "stay in her bed" if she wakes up. I told her to still call for us if she needs us. I hope that little head of hers was paying attention. We shall see!
After the beds were assembled, we took off to my other niece, Cora's soccer game. Cora played goalie for the 1st half and was like a brick wall. She didn't let anything pass her by. She did great! And she played defense during second half and was a force to be reckoned with.
My girls were moderately behaved. I had to take Haleah to a disgusting outhouse of a bathroom two times during the course of the game. It was a really sketchy place located behind the bleachers--the kind of bathroom I have nightmares about. Then, when the game ended, and we ventured back to the parking lot with all our stuff, Haleah told me she had to go potty again. I was like, "WHAT? You just went! Twice! And I'm NOT bringing you back to that disgusting bathroom again!"
But Haleah insisted that she had to go. So in the parking lot, I tried to shield her with the stroller and my body while my mother-in-law helped her squat down. And Haleah didn't go. So we all got buckled up and into the car. And as I was backing out of the parking space, Haleah declared, "I said I DIDN'T have to go!" I was thinking she was out of her mind. Haleah put up quite a production to tell me she did have to go and couldn't wait until we got home. So we tried to make a way for her, only for her to tell us moments after that charade that she never had to go. Ugh!
Anyhow, we really did have a good day. We came home and got some cereal (cause we kind of missed dinner due to the soccer game), and I put the girls to bed in their "new digs." I hope they sleep tight, but I'll be listening closely in the monitors tonight.
I've been delaying doing this 100th post, due to the expectation that I should do something extra special or make a list (for example) of 100 things I love, which takes an awful long time and creative effort to produce. But since I have been sleep deprived for the past two weeks due to children with high fevers, runny noses and teething, I simply do not have the stamina (or mommy brain power) to produce such a list. I just want to blog in a more realistic manner at this point...
I will say, however, that I am 100% blessed and in love with my girls and my husband. I have 100's of things to be happy about and thankful for. I love the way David is such a fun Daddy with his three daughters--bringing out "the tickle spider" on them and throwing them over his shoulders singing a made-up song he calls "Sack of Potatoes." And I love the way David holds me at night, encourages me, tells me I'm smart and provides for our family.
I love that Haleah is starting to understand jokes and is becoming quite an interesting story teller. She asks so many questions during the day and is a literal sponge. She keeps asking me 100 times a day when summer is coming and why I (seem) tell her every day that it's "not here yet." Her independence is growing and she told David the other day, "Daddy, some things I just HAVE to do myself." She told me that she wants to pray to God by herself too. I say, "Great!"
I am 100% in love with Kaelah's sweet and giving heart. She is a 2-year old with a tremendous sense of compassion. She is always noticing when others are hurt or need help and comes to aid. She never wants to insult or harm. When I told Kaelah that I was so tired that I could fall apart, she said, "Oh, are you okay Mommy? I will keep you safe." And then she gave me a big kiss. She is precious beyond belief, even though she is testing her limits every day and using her table settings as science lab experiments.
And Bekah, is my 1-in-100 (I say 1-in-1,000,000,000) baby... She is my delight. Even though she is my baby who has given me the hardest time with sleep issues, I cannot get past the love that I have for her. Every morning, when I pick her up out of her crib, she hugs me around my neck and gives me the biggest smile (without any inkling of what a terror she was the night before). She seems to be crawling 100 miles an hour, eats about 100 foreign objects per day, but then gives me at least 100 kisses a day. So it all balances out. I couldn't stay mad at that precious, sweet baby. I know, as a 10 month old, that she won't be a baby much longer. So I am taking in every moment and trying to enjoy it all.
So this 100th post is merely a short tribute to the 1000's of things that I love about my family. Even though I'm working on improving other aspects of my life and worry about 100 different trivial things a day---I still don't have any doubt that my children and my husband are a gift that should never be taken for granted. Here's to the next 100 posts! May sleep come my way so that I will have the ability to formulate coherent thoughts and sentences!
My mother has been in town for the last couple of weeks, and it's been such a delight. I only get to see her about twice a year, so our time together is precious. Though my children are experts at distraction it was still nice to just have my Mom here.
The kids found it funny to put the Barrel of Monkeys on Grandma's glasses...
Grandma and her three grand-daughters were able to get reconnect again and talked about our upcoming summer vacation plans to Maine, when we see Grandma again. They are already so excited to go to the beach and go camping.
One of these days when my Mom comes I'm sure we'll get to do more "fun" stuff. I'm at the stage now, however, where I'm just so grateful to have a bit of time to accomplish some projects that I haven't been able to get to with the children demanding my attention so much (which is expected for a 3, 2 and 10 month old). My Mom was funny though... I mentioned to her that I was reading the popular Twilight series and was on book #3. I thought that perhaps she might pick up book #1 and read through that one book while she was here. Well, I made it to the 4th book this week, but she surpassed me and had to "take over" my book to finish up the series before her flight takes off today. I guess she likes it! Ha. And I am looking forward to getting book #4 back!
So we'll all be taking her to the airport soon and are sad to see her go. My Mom is my closest friend and I don't know how I get along without her every day.
I'm not sure I can write anything well enough to do the memory of him justice. I will just say that I loved him dearly, and he was a matchless, one-of-a-kind father to me. He was my step-father, Bob, and he passed away of ALS (Lou-Gehrigs disease) 15 years ago today.
It hardly seems that all this time has passed and it pains me a little to consider how much he's missed. I remember saying goodbye to him in the hospital after a failed attempt to insert a feeding tube into his stomach. His body was too tired to handle another procedure. I was 18 and I walked into his room where he lay alert, but unable to speak. I held his hand and whispered that I wanted him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I told him I loved him. Our whole family was gathered there, and we sang a couple of Bob's favorite hymns and said our goodbyes, as tears fell down our faces, and his. I left the room, knowing it would be the last time I'd see him. Soon my Mom was there alone with Bob, there to hold his hand as the angels escorted him off to heaven.
Bob came into my life as I approached my teen years. I was the only girl in the family, and even though Bob only had boys, he knew how to spoil a girl like me. When he brought flowers home for my mother, he brought me some too. He was in tune with how to make all of his children feel special and loved. He provided for us and cooked wonderful meals, showing off his passion and love for food. He could sing his heart out and had an incredible musical gift. Bob was nurturing and honest and good. He was a model to me, in the way he treated my mother, and showed what a husband should be for a wife. I watched him closely. I knew Bob was proud of me, no matter what I did. He was patient in my teen years, even though we all know that period can be rough on entire families (and our family had four teenagers at that one time). Bob was fair, yet strict, but I respected him fully. When the disease started to take it's toll on his body, I sensed the pain in him, but I knew he trusted that God was going to hold him close. It was that faith that gave Bob comfort and peace and allowed us to endure it with him as well.
It was hard to see Bob suffer over a period of time. And it was even harder to let him go. Our family had so many plans for the future and a long life together. My Mom and Bob only had a few short years together, but their love was of the truest form. Bob never got to meet his grandchildren, but I know he'd be proud. I am thinking of Bob tonight, thankful for his life and the impact it made on me. The fairy tale love that he and my Mom had wasn't the happiest of endings when they had to let each other go, but it was magical while it lasted. And for that I'm glad Bob's story unfolded and that he was a part of my life.
As Bekah nears closer to the first year mark, I can almost feel myself coming out of the fog I must have been in for the past couple of years. My goal has been to nurse Bekah until her first Birthday, which is in April, so the end is in sight. For the past 5 years, I have either been nursing and/or pregnant, and soon I will be altogether neither! This is not to say I haven't enjoyed the stages my babies are/were in or the processes I've gone through, but I am ready to have my body back (completely) so that I can feel stronger and focus on more things. I am beginning to feel the need to meet new people and become more active outside my home. I am making plans to enjoy some time to myself or to have a date with my husband. I have lost most of my "baby weight," but am looking foward trying to get my body "fit" again. And I have begun to set up playdates as well, with other moms and kids.
I enjoy this age that Bekah is (nearly 10 months), because I feel that I am able to maneuver a bit easier throughout the day. I am beginning to enjoy these times even more now. And when I'm not focused on myself, my eyes seem to be open to the needs of those around me. Recently I have had some neat opportunities to have conversations with new people or discover small ways that I can reach out to another. And this brings me great joy and purpose. I still struggle with the fact that I don't know what I'll do with myself when all three of my babies start school. I want to feel like I have a plan. But for now I'll just imagine that I have limitless OPPORTUNITY!
I'm recklessly awaiting my mother to arrive, as things seem to be falling apart here in the Whitt household. These past seven days have been a doozer! It's like my girls have gone wild. Here are some interesting things that happened:1) Haleah "woke up" from nap screaming at the top of her lungs and was clinging to her blinds yelling, "I want Wiggles! I want Wiggles!" She was having a sleep terror or something. She was not actually awake, and it took me quite a long time to settle her down.2) Before church on Sunday, just as we were about to leave, I found Haleah and Kaelah together in the bathroom with an empty medicine bottle in their possession. I assessed the situation. Medicine was on their clothes, but not on their faces. Purple goop was on the bathroom walls and on my fluffy white bathroom rug, but not in their mouths. Praise God! But boy did they get a mouthful from their Daddy!3) Kaelah has taken a liking to licking the top of the pepper shaker. No, you may not want to eat over my house this week!4) Bekah is coughing all night long and has snot dripping from her nose like a faucet. Poor thing is so sick, yet she's still eating any leaf or any other typical inedible object that she can find. She has also taken a liking to licking my front door and leaving a line of drool on it.5) Bekah learned to open the top line of cabinet drawers in my kitchen. She is 9 months old. I don't know how she is doing this, but she's got me going crazy! Her fingers are going to be missing in no time, I fear.6) Kaelah has been caught with the cap off the toothpaste, trying to squirt the entire thing into her mouth. She also got a hold of my Chapstick in the car. And when I looked back in my rear view mirror while driving, she had smeared it, thickly, ALL over her face. Yum! Needless to say, this week has been all about disciplining and teaching and child-proofing. I must say, I'm worn out and waiting for my mother to show up, as promised. Let's see.... it's January 26th today. That means I only have 17 days more left to wait for her arrival. Hurry, Mom. I'm losing control!
